Out of my mind.

I struggled with the Lord about the calling to go from the very beginning. I've felt for a few years that I was being called on the foreign mission field, but I was thought it'd be Africa. Instead, He was shaping me for a future in Honduras. The constant battle about going to Honduras continued on for months, so I decided to tell my family. Soon after, I began telling a few people about what was unfolding. With the exception of less than a handful of people, the overall reaction was that I had lost my mind. It didn't make sense. That's crazy. People weren't shy about telling me what they thought about the decision. But their responses were the same exact ones I had expressed to Lord when He mentioned it to me. It's crazy, Lord! It was then that He reminded me of a verse that I was introduced to while working Crosspoint in the summer of 2007.

If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. 14For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. 2 Cor 5:13-15

In Crazy Love, Francis Chan puts it like this: "Having faith often means doing what others see as crazy. Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers." Jesus didn't call us to do what made sense to this world. Check out Hebrews 11 – the people were nuts. They were asked to be obedient in doing crazy things and they did. An ark with no rain? A child at such an old age? Putting your baby in a basket in the river? Sacrificing your only son? All of a sudden going to a third world country didn't seem so crazy to me. Yet regardless of what He's calling us to, it is our choice to be obedient. The Bible has lots to say about how set apart our lives should look from this earth that we live on. If we are to be His disciples there are expected terms of chosen discipleship, the first condition of which is, according to the Master's words, "He must give up all right to himself." (Matt 16:24) May we choose to give up all rights, remembering that we were bought at a price and therefore our lives are not our own. Dead to self, alive to Christ. "Dead to all one's natural earthly plans and hopes, dead to all voices, however dear, which would deafen our ear to His." – Amy Carmichael

He is Faithful

The first time I went to Orphanage Emmanuel was in May 2008 with a group from the college ministry at FBC Opelika. Over this past Christmas break I went back to that beautiful place praying that if God was really calling me there He would make it crystal clear. He did. He had already made it clear to me before that trip, but I guess in His unlimited patience He showed me again. So when I got back to the states in January the preparation continued. Side note: He's been preparing me for this before I even knew I was being prepared. If the Lord was calling me to stay there for an entire year I knew it would take money – money that I didn't have. So I started praying about it. How am I going to raise $5000? What do I do about my student loans? I waited and waited and waited – no answer. So I began brainstorming (or more like googling) ways to raise money for missions. I had decided that it would be best to send out letters to friends and family as a source of prayer and financial support. My goal was to send out those letters over Spring Break. I still had not received an answer and didn't have a peace about the letters, but how else was I supposed to raise the money? I would receive my answer two days before Spring Break from an incredible follower of Christ who lived in the late 1800s. I had been reading A Chance to Die: the Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael by Elisabeth Elliot and was brought straight to my knees when I read the following:
"Now we give unto Mrs. So and So who wrote us a begging letter, or Miss So and So who called the other day with a collecting card and unfortunately we were in and could not get off without giving her something. … May there not be some clue to the money mystery in these thoughts taking as our keynote three sentences, not very much believed in nowadays:
"The silver and gold are Mine."
"Ask, and ye shall receive."
"My God shall supply all your need."
1. Is the work for which we want the money God's chosen work for us, or our chosen work for Him? If the former, will not He see after the money necessary? If the latter, then how can we expect anything better than we have?
2. Can we expect a blessing to follow money given grudgingly?
3. Should we not see that our Root is right, before expecting flowers and fruit?

The answer was no. Well then Lord, now what? Faith. You see, Orphanage Emmanuel is a testimony to what the Lord can do when His children are obedient and walk in complete faith. Their root is Christ and he has produced flowers and fruit. The place is proof of His faithfulness. "Test me in this…and see if I will not…pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it." (Mal. 3:10) Now I have been given another opportunity to step out in faith and this time I'm choosing not to pass it up. He has called me to this chosen work and He will prove Himself faithful to supply all my needs so that people can see that it is Christ who receives all glory. Needless to say, the letters have not and will not be sent. I am beginning to see a glimpse of His promise in this. My first step was to book a flight - $690. Except for my parents, no one knew this had been purchased. When the bill came in for the plane ticket, a few people had "randomly" given me money for Honduras. The total amount received - $710. Talk about unbelief. It's no accident that the math ended up like this; it is part of His promise if I will be obedient in trusting Him. He is faithful.

A Crazy Journey Has Begun

First I must start off by saying that while the Lord has blessed me with a few gifts, writing is definitely not one of them – as you will soon see. In fact, there will probably be quite a few entries in here before anyone knows that this blog even exists. My goal for this blog is to keep you updated on my life in Honduras and what the Lord is doing at Orphanage Emmanuel and in my own journey with Him. Despite my poor attempt at writing, I pray that He receives all the glory that could ever possibly come from this.

I don't journal…unless you count writing once (maybe even twice) a year. Usually that one entry tries to explain everything that happened in the past year. It's miserable – and probably the reason I don't journal. I want this to be different. Therefore, I've decided not to start writing the whole story of how I received the call to serve at Orphanage Emmanuel in Guaimaca, Honduras. Eventually I'll be able to fill you in on parts of the story that I'd love for you to know. It's been such an incredible journey since May 2009 that it would be impossible to sum up in a page or two, or four, or ten. My life has been transformed. It's a crazy journey that at many times has made no sense to me, much less to the people around me. Yet it is His call on my life right now and therefore my only response can be, "Here I am Lord; send me."